10 Lies You Tell Yourself that Just Aren’t True
During my anatomy lab in college, we were fortunate enough to have real cadavers to learn from. Seeing a preserved human body that was once a real human being spread out on the table took some getting used to, but once I did, it was pretty cool. Learning directly from an actual human body was surreal.
The lab had only two rules:
- Always wear gloves when touching the cadavers.
- Treat the cadavers with care and respect.
These rules were rigid. If you disobeyed, you would be kicked out.
I was all about tagging along beside someone who was studying the cadaver so that they could do all the touching. I mean, I was cool, but it was a little too much for me.
Every day the lab had “open lab,” during which anyone could study there with access to all the different cadavers and body parts (i.e. organs).
One day, during a time when my class was studying a unit on the brain, I went to the lab to get my study on. An available brain was sitting on a table, so I set my stuff down and made my way over to grab the tray upon which it sat.
As I walked back to my seat, weaving between students, tray in hand, I tripped and dropped the brain. Dropped. On the floor. In the middle of the lab.
Panicked, I thought, “my ungloved hands are better than the floor” and, with all eyes on me, swooped down to reunite the poor brain with its sterile tray.
The brain slipped through my bare fingers and back to the floor.
“Why isn’t anyone helping me?”
“And why isn’t there a hole opening up to swallow me?”
Face burning, I ran to my table for gloves, which I couldn’t seem to get on because I was moving too fast. So with gloves half-shoved onto my fingers, which created a claw instead of a hand, I attempted again to retrieve the brain.
Everyone had stopped to stare at me by this point. Still no one had offered their assistance, probably in shock at my blatant violation of both lab rules. Finally, thankfully, I successfully returned the brain to its tray before running away, never to return to the lab again.
(And not because I was kicked out.)
I didn’t go back because I felt like such a loser.
I used to always beat myself up and talk myself down because I never felt like I was enough. This spiraled into feeling judged, comparing myself to others, feeling guilt, never fully taking the reins on life, and never choosing happiness.
Now, I’ve shut up those voices in my head, the lies, and I haven’t let those old negative feelings control my life. Once we are able to shut those lies down, opportunities and happiness appear.
10 Lies You Tell Yourself, That Just Aren’t True
1. I will always fall short, and I will never be enough.
What does that even mean, being enough?
Being smart enough to solve world hunger? Live until I’m 150?
Or is it to be enough so that at the end of the day your little one wants to snuggle on the couch…cause I’m pretty sure you conquered this one.
What expectations do you have in your mind to keep you from feeling enough?
Because you ARE enough just as you are. There is no magic number you have to reach to make it to enough.
You are enough because you are YOU!
You have talents, skills, unique personality and special gifts that you bring to the table. There is no one else out there like you! You are enough being you!
2. I’ll be happy when _______
Fill in the blank.
I know you have a goal or destination that you are constantly thinking about. And you think “if I could just make it there, I’d be happy.”
I remember thinking for the first half of my 20’s that I was going to solve all my unhappiness problems when I found my true love. I would love myself, I would be living my dreams, and all would be right in the world.
Well, I found him, and guess what, I still got problems!
I mean, I love him more than life, but we still struggle with things.
Life is STILL hard!
If you keep the “I’ll be happy when____” sentence in your life, you will never be happy. You’ll always be searching for the next thing.
Replace it with
“I will be happy now”.
“Happiness is not a destination it is a way of life”
3. I have no control over my life, I’m stuck
For the longest time, I thought I was robot.
I felt like someone somewhere had a remote that controlled my actions. Because if I tried to do something I wanted, I’d always seemed to fail. So, I took that as a sign that I was “stuck” in whatever situation I was in, and it couldn’t be changed.
I was always looking to blame someone else for my outcomes and my choices.
I’d blame God, Life, Karma, or Mother Nature because things weren’t going right or the way I wanted them to go.
You are only limited by…YOU!
You are only as smart, loving, positive, or happy as you make your mind up to be! No matter your circumstance or situation.
Remember that you are in control of your life. You make the difference, you make the change. And you CAN do it!
4. I must feel guilt
There are two words you need to remember in order to not feel guilty:
You can’t be everyone at once, please everyone at once, and solve world hunger all at once! You can’t be bestest, awesomest, and mostest all at once!
Yes, there will be days when you mess up, choose wrong, or yell too much. But beating yourself up about it, doesn’t change what happened. BUT it DOES teach us to learn for the future.
Don’t waste your life away feeling guilty because you literally gain NOTHING from it.
Learn to work on, prioritize, and schedule the things that matter, so that you’re not running yourself so thin and feeling guilty. And definitely make time for yourself and DON’T feel guilty for it.
Don’t let how other people react to your choices influence your feelings!
And MOST definitely don’t let other people’s opinions or comparisons make you feel guilty for what you’re doing.
Own who you are, own your life, and make the best of every day! (guilt free, remember, you are enough!)
5. I am alone
When my daughter was 2, I put her on the potty and lectured her for 10 minutes on why we pee in the big potty and not in a diaper. She stared at me with the blankest stare, asked if I was done, then ran away. I don’t think she got a single word. Meanwhile, my husband is laughing in the other room.
While being a SAHM, I felt a lone A LOT. I mean talking to kids under 3 all day isn’t exactly what I call a rousing conversation.
There could be a room full of people, but I couldn’t help but feel alone.
But the great thing about life is that there are SOO many people who can relate to us. You just have to find them. There is someone out there who is going through the same thing you’re going through.
Don’t feed your lonely thoughts. Get out. Meet people, and experience life. Talk to God and pray for His help. He is always there.
There are in times in life where you might feel alone, but remember that you aren’t!
6. No one likes me
“Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna eat some worms”.
Please tell me you remember this song?! Haha.
Not everyone is going to like you, it’s true. A hard fact, but true. Most of my life, I have been a people-pleaser because I was afraid that someone wouldn’t like me!
Well, not everyone jives. You will run into people who don’t like you. Just remember, be the best you, and who cares what other people think!
Don’t fall into the negative self-destructive trap of thinking you don’t have friends, family, loved ones, or support.
Shut down those lies!
7. I have to be as skinny as Barbie
First off, barbie has an irregular hip to waist ratio. Even a Kardashian has a hard time competing with barbie.
Comparing is the thief of all things joyful.
You do not have to be as skinny, tall, short, round, or strong as nobody!
You are you. Learn to love you for you.
You can always improve who you want to be, but don’t hate the person you are now, for the person you might become.
Learn to love who you are now, no matter your size, race, strength, money, job, etc…
8. My happiness isn’t worth fighting for
My husband made the giant leap and went back to school…Again.
He wasn’t going to because he thought he was old.
“I’m 30, my life is over, and there’s no point in fighting now, it’s too late!”
Who says you can’t start school at age 30?
It’s NEVER too late to fight for your happiness.
I’m proud of him for following his dream.
How often do we discredit something because we think “what’s the point?!” Well, the point is to be happy!
Your happiness is worth fighting for, and it is worth the time. Take time everyday to do the things that bring you joy. Set goals to help you achieve your dreams. It’s never too late to go after a dream!
9. I don’t have time
Priorities, Priorities, Priorities. You’re right, there are only 24 hour in a day, and some days that just ain’t enough. BUT when we prioritize the things that matter, there is time.
Don’t overload yourself, remember to take time to smell the roses, invest in yourself and in your happiness.
10. I’m not capable
Do you think Thomas Edison had a clue what he was doing when he tried to light a light bulb?
Okay, maybe he had clue, but I’m sure he didn’t feel that way after the 112th time he failed!
You are only as capable as you think you are!
You are capable.
If you don’t know something, learn it. If you can’t do something, practice it. If you want to achieve something, go after it. Don’t accept “no” or “I can’t” as an answer.