7 Negative Mindsets that are Hurting You: How to have a Positive Mindset
This post might contain affiliate links, which just means I get a small commission if you purchase through the link, but at no cost to you. Don’t worry, I only promote what I know and like.
Before I started down my journey of positivity, I had so many negative mindsets that I didn’t realize were holding me back.
Our minds are capable of so much more than we think. If we can set our minds to something, we can do it! So the more negative our minds the more negative our lives.
“What we think, We Become” – Buddha
Being positive and creating a positive mindset is a huge contributor in our overall happiness. (It is also not the only solution sometimes, so please get help if you need it).
There are so many mindsets in our world today that negatively effect who we are, our happiness, and our success in life. I am certainly guilty of having a negative mindset, although I’m on the road to recovery! :).
Once we realize how we’re thinking and why we are thinking that way, we can change it and improve.
You might not even realize the mindsets that could be hurting you.
7 Mindsets that are Hurting You
1. The “Normal” Mindset
What is normal? Is there even such a thing? We AS A PEOPLE set normal. Something is considered “normal” because people say it’s normal.
I don’t think eating vegan is normal, but over 100,000 people do it every day. haha. (I love my vegan people).
There is no such thing as NORMAL! (let me say normal again…normal!)
Don’t let other people’s idea of normal stop you from being you, living your dreams, and being happy!
You decide normal.
The Opposite Mindset: Thinking outside the box. Don’t think you have to live in a box or live the way others want you to. Follow your heart and do the little things that make you happy, even if it’s not the norm.
(Just don’t do drugs, cause that’s not normal. :))
2. I have NO control of my life
The second you believe this, you give up all power over your life. You blame everyone else for where you are and why you’re there, and it often leaves you feeling stuck. But this simply isn’t true. You have more control over your life then you think. Look for solutions instead of problems.
Complaining you have no control or naming all your problems in your life and not taking any solutions as an answer gets you…
You can keep doing that if you want, or you can take control even if it means you might fail along the way. Because, what’s the alternative?
Sometimes the solution may not be present in the moment, or life throws us curve balls, but we do choose how we react to those situations.
The Opposite Mindset: You are in control. You can direct your life, you can decide who you want to be and where you’d like to go. You have the power to be happy, find success, and love.
3. I am entitled
If you go around thinking life owes you something, you won’t get very far. Nobody is entitled to anything. Everyone has to work for what they have. Life isn’t all about what you want. Asking for help or relying on others is not the same as feeling entitled. Entitlement means you should get something for nothing, everyone should be serving you and be aware of you, and you’re quick to become angry and resentful instead of grateful.
If we all felt less like life owed us something, and more grateful for what we do have, the world would be a more loving place. I think sometimes we don’t even realize we are thinking this way because it comes so natural, and we get so caught up in our busy lives.
Take an entitlement quiz here.
The Opposite Mindset: Living an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude goes a long way. Having a positive outlook on life and the right perspective. Working hard to earn what you want, being proud of your work, and rejoicing in others’ achievements.
Disclaimer: I am not saying that life can’t get you down, or you can’t have a bad day. It’s all about having the right perspective even though life can just suck. There is always SOMETHING to be grateful for.
4. I will/can never be happy
Well, with that attitude you won’t!
LIES! This is a lie we tell ourselves.
We put our happiness in gifts, success, wealth or knowledge. Don’t think you can’t be happy because you aren’t who, what, or where you thought you’d be. Because once you get there, you still won’t be happy. Happiness is a state of mind.
“Happiness is a state of mind, and depends very little on outward circumstance.”
You know who said that?! Helen Keller! She was deaf AND blind. She accomplished so much and touched the lives of so many people. She didn’t go live in a dark hole like I would have!
What I’m saying is you can be happy, and you can be happy NOW! If you need help, get help, if you need medications, get medications, if you need to make changes, make changes. The biggest, probably most easiest (although not easy) change is start having a positive mindset and living a positive life! Set yourself up for success starting with a positive, happy mindset!
The Opposite Mindset: I can be happy now. I choose to be happy now. There will be days that suck, but that’s just life. There are things to be happy about today. What can I do today that will make me happy?
How to be Happy:
27 Ways to be Happy today
What you really need in order to be happy
9 Habits of a Happy Stay-at-home Mom
Create a Vision Board for Happiness
How to Maintain Hope and Happiness
5. I don’t have the power to change
You have as much power as you think you have. You have the power to change your mind, your situation, and yourself.
There are situations in our lives that might be hard to change or that can’t be changed. But we have the power to choose how we react to those instances. We all have times in life where “crap hits the fan” (excuse my french). We can’t stop it, but we can be prepared for it, and we can change how we react to it.
“Nobody puts baby in a corner” (name that movie?)
Don’t put yourself in a corner. Don’t put yourself in a box. Find solutions. Don’t limit yourself because you think you can’t change. Cause it ain’t true!
The Opposite Mindset: I have the power to change, and to change my life. I can always improve.
6. My weaknesses define me
We all have weaknesses. If you get stuck in the attitude that you’re stuck because of your weaknesses or you ARE you’re weaknesses, then you are looking at life with the glass half empty.
Of course you have weaknesses, you’re human!
Everyone has weaknesses. Choose to focus on your strengths, and work on your weakness. But don’t hate the person you are now for the person that you MIGHT become. Love who you are now!
The Opposite Mindset: I acknowledge that I have weaknesses because I am human. But those weaknesses can become strengths and can make me stronger. It also gives me the ability to relate to and help others. It helps me to be humble and more forgiving of others.
7. I am my mental/physical illness
No you aren’t!
For a long time I blamed things I couldn’t do on the fact that I felt anxious and depressed. I thought, “this is just the way I am”.
There is some truth in that statement. You struggle with it, and because of that, your life will be different. BUT there are so many ways to cope and manage it, that it doesn’t have to hold you back.
Don’t think there isn’t help, or that you can’t do something because of your struggles. And that goes for just about anything we struggle with in life.
It only holds you back if you THINK it does!
The Opposite Mindset: I struggle with ______, but I am not my _______. I just have to find ways to cope and manage in order to make life fulfilling. It’s just different. I can and will still be happy.
Once I realized that it wasn’t the world, life, or others that was holding me back, it was ME, My mind and my way of thinking, my attitude about life, how I feel about myself, and what I can accomplish changed for the better!
One of my favorite people to learn from is Tony Robbins. He has created endless classes and resources to help you change your life, build confidence, be happy, change your mindset, and live a fulfilled life. He has helped me change my way of thinking in so many ways. If you haven’t checked him out, you should. He could help you change your life!
Great post Charlie, I too love Tony Robins,
My mom is stuck in a lot of these mindsets. She is 68 and is always the victim of her circumstances and it is too bad watching her be so unhappy because her perspective is in her power but she just doesn’t believe she has control. I really enjoyed this read.
Thank you! I totally agree! 🙂 Thanks for commenting!