Mom, I’m gonna be real and honest. (Not that I’m not always real and honest).
I have had lots of thoughts about motherhood lately that I just need to get out. Ramblings, if you will.
And although this is not your typical blog post and goes against the rules of blogging, I’m doin’ it anyway. One reason I started a blog was to have an outlet and build a community of moms sharing together.
That doesn’t exactly work if I don’t break the rules sometimes and just have a blog post of my random ramblings.
So, here it goes. We’ll entitle it:
9 Things I’ve learned while being a Mom, and other Ramblings
Let me preface this with… I feel like my children and I got off on the wrong foot.
I had depression and anxiety.
My daughter came out hating the world and showed it through her colic
And then I felt like I started all over again, emotionally, with my son.
All those contributed to my view on Motherhood and feeling like I could never do enough, be enough, or feel happy enough.
But my, how the tables have turned and here’s why:
I’m learning to adore my children.
Being a mom is a selfless act, and it ain’t easy going from a life of doing whatever the heck you want to being under the thumb of a baby.
They’re unappreciative and very bossy.
I mean who wants to be around that all day? AND if you don’t have an “easy” baby or the “we got so lucky baby” it can be even harder! (This has a good ending, I promise).
It’s easy to not want to be around them after a long day or go the extra mile to do the itsy bitsy spider for the umpteenth time.
I am learning to really adore my children, not just love, but adore.
I’m learning to see life through their eyes, take joy in the simple things, love their little hands and feet, and only focus on their amazing qualities and boost them to meet their full potential.
I guess that’s really called true, unconditional love.
Sometimes I hate it.
When my toddler is screaming bloody murder in the grocery store because I’m not letting him push the cart into other shoppers, I hate it.
When I have to fight to put my my toddler in his car seat for 10 minutes because suddenly he’s grown the strength of superman, I hate it.
When I have to keep my kids from arguing over which color plate they want for the 50th time, I hate it.
Cause let’s all be honest, this crap is hard and sometimes you’ll just hate it, and that’s okay.
This doesn’t mean that I (or you) am a bad mother. It doesn’t mean I love my kids any less!
It took me a while to learn this lesson. I felt that if I hated anything involved with my kids, then I just hate them, which is simply not true.
It’s okay to hate parts of motherhood.
It’s okay to hate barbies too! (Ok, strongly dislike).
Some days I just don’t want to be around my kids. I want a break, and I want to be alone.
And guess what? That’s okay.
My children teach me things.
I’m blown away with how loving, merciful, forgiving and humble my kids are.
I know they won’t always be this way, but for right now, they are completely innocent. It makes me want to be like them.
They don’t hold grudges, they aren’t able to hate people, they’re extremely teachable (most of the time), and they don’t understand why we can’t just have world peace. They are so innocent and amazing in their own little way.
I just hope that I can facilitate those qualities to help them become amazing, bigger human beings.
I’ve become closer to my Savior because of my children.
The parallel between me and my kids, and God and me, is not lost on me.
How many times does God have to tell me what to do?… And repeat Himself.
How often do I think I know best, or don’t want to ask for His help, or don’t trust Him?
Yet, He is all-forgiving, all-loving and all-patient.
He understands me perfectly and continues to keep His arm outstretched for when I decide to humble myself to ask for and accept His help.
Christ is my ultimate exemplar as a parent, who I try to emulate. #nopressure.
Hard things make us better.
Kids are hard. They just are, but what amazing things in life come easy?
Let me tell you…absolutely nothing!
Things that are hard, make us better.
The hardest challenges often bring us the biggest joy.
Life was never meant to be easy.
It’s meant to make us better. I want to reach my full potential, and I want to make the world a better place, touching as many lives as I can along the way. Kids do that. They give me that.
You can’t sweat the small stuff.
Ohhhh, but I sweat it. I’m covered in sweat. I’m a sweater.
I might be trying to still learn this lesson.
It’s inevitable, I will screw up my kids…somewhere.
This is fact. Because nobody is perfect. I can’t be. I will ultimately mess things up.
We will eat cereal for dinner one too many times.
We will have an extremely messy house that looks like we haven’t cleaned in months, but I’m telling you, I just cleaned yesterday.
And I will most certainly, probably, regrettably, raise my voice at my children. #noteveryday #momfail
But I’m learning, and I make mistakes, and it’s okay.
I can’t sweat all the small mistakes, all the small jobs, and all the small stresses.
What works for someone else may not work for me.
Stop comparing! The end.
So what if I co-sleep, bottle feed, breast feed, work, stay at home, use a pacifier, or wear the same shirt 3 days in a row. (Did I cover all the controversial topics?)
It doesn’t matter.
The battles I’m willing to fight, are not the same battles someone else is willing to fight.
My choices are not their choices.
Their kids are not my kids.
We are all different. We all mother differently, and we all love differently. There is no rule book for kids. I wish there was, but their isn’t.
I do what works for me and my kids. And screw everyone else’s judgments!
8. I am still learning.
The other day my husband and I were exercising at home and my daughter decided to be our little coach:
“Go mom, go dad! Keep going, you can’t stop. It’s not that hard.”
She’s gonna be a personal trainer one day.
Well then she says: “Dad’s doing really good, Mom’s….still learning.”
Shock!!! What!?
It’s true, I’m not as strong as my husband, but I’m okay with that.
We are all still learning. It’s a process. Most people don’t know how to parent until they’re grandparents. Then they want to impart all their wisdom to you. #loveyoumomanddad
Instead of getting down on myself for all the ways I’m doing it wrong and instead of feeling guilt, I tell myself, it’s a process. I’m still learning, what can I do better now?
9. Motherhood is what I create it to be.
I believe that motherhood is what you make it.
I can make it as painless or as crazy or as happy as I want it.
I can love and adore my children, cherish every moment, choose to push past the bad times, get help for when I need it, or I can be miserable and complain to everyone.
Motherhood can be really fun. And maybe I’m saying this mostly to myself because for a while, it was daunting. It was hard, and it was not fun.
I’ve chosen to change how I feel about it, how I view it, how I view my kids, and what works for both of us.
This is why I started this blog.
So I could tell you, I know!
I know the struggle. I know it’s hard, but I also know it’s amazing!
I’ve learned how to create a routine of happiness and positivity so I can be the best happy mom I can!
Create your happiness! Create your motherhood!
You are not alone, mama!
Related: How to Rid Yourself of Mom Guilt
Related: The perfect schedule for the Stay at Home Mom with Young Children
