How Losing Everything Was the Best Thing to Happen to Me
By: Dominique Burleson from dominiqueburleson.com
Not gonna lie, it felt pretty good to get carried over the threshold of a house I now owned on my wedding night.
I was only 21.
My husband bought me this brand new house in an upscale neighborhood as a wedding gift. I had insisted on renting for a bit, but he wouldn’t stand for that. (You’ll see this is just the beginning of our bad money decisions.)
Oh, but first. Let me fast forward 10 years.
Hey y’all! I’m Dominique B. and I’m a marketing & branding consultant as well as a mompreneur blogger. I’m a wife and homeschooling mama of 5 little people-4 of those are very energetic boys! My life is super crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way! I feel super blessed that Charlie has given me this opportunity to share this story with you! It’s extremely important as it shaped who I am today.
Let’s get back into it…
So we were horrible with money. And this was 2008. Yeah. Stock market crashed. Hubby got a 50% pay cut. Oh and we found out we were pregnant. All within a few weeks of getting married.
Over the next few years, we had an ebb and flow of hard times. Hubby’s pay kept changing as the factory he worked for would adapt to the economy. I tried to start plenty of businesses, but I was pretty bad at them all. And then there was that being awful with money thing.
We looked as if we had it all together.
However, no one knew that we were on the verge of a divorce. We fought. A lot.
I was getting really tired of it all.
The house was nice, but the taxes kept changing as did out payment. The construction was cheap so everything was falling apart. We over drafted more than I’d like to admit and I was incredibly lonely-as motherhood is at times.
Then, my husband came home from his job of 8 years with a pink slip. See, this international company started “restructuring” some things. We started seeing lots of senior guys getting fired for minor things left and right. My husband ended up being one of them. Just 6 weeks before the birth of our 4th baby, and after his supervisor begging and pleading with HR to let her keep her best worker-they fired my husband for missing a piece of tape on a product. Yes, it does sound silly but more people got fired for the same dumb stuff.
I remember that day like it just happened. Febuary 2, 2015. The pain in my husband’s eyes was a burden to my heart. I knew without a doubt that God was showing me that I could leave (as I had been planning) or I could endure absolute hell with this man and come out better.
So I took his hand and said, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
The worst did happen.
After a full year of fighting with the mortgage company for a loan re-modification, I got a knock on the door and my heart shattered. There stood an old man telling me that our home-the one all 4 of my babies were brought home to. Where I became a wife and a mom. The only home I’ve ever lived in longer than 1 year.-that home had just been auctioned off on the steps of the courthouse and we had 30 days to vacate.
Y’all. I didn’t fall to pieces then. I held it together. My kids were watching of course. However, in the middle of packing one day I dropped to my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. Why? Why on earth was this happening?
We were on food stamps. We lived in my parent’s bedroom. We were making $12/hr to support all 6 of us. We had lost everything.
Well, we thought we had.
Actually, I gained a best friend & a marriage I wouldn’t trade for the biggest house on the planet. We were forced to rely on each other and it blossomed into something beautiful. I gained insight into our horrible spending habits and how important budgeting is. I gained a reason to really look at what I was doing with my life and see if I was actually actively moving forward or pretty much staying stagnant.
Losing everything is what made me desire to help other women start businesses…the right way (failing so many times gave me LOTS of experience!). Losing everything made me focus on more quality time with our kiddos.
Our story isn’t over. We still have one more year before we can qualify to buy another home. So we are continuing to pay off our debt and hustle like no other. Hubby got a job that’s beyond anything he’s had before and my business had taken off and I know I’m no longer living a stagnant life.
They’re so involved with this journey to buy a house, that our oldest is currently trying to start her own business. This has given us such a HUGE teaching opportunity for them.
Don’t give me wrong. The past three years have tested every fiber of my being and my strength as a human. I’ve wanted to give up so.many.times. But when I look at how far we have come, our scars, though ugly and still a little painful, are just ornaments on a life that I had only dreamed of.
I still can’t drive past our old house, and that’s okay. I’m planning on driving by the day we move into our new one.
It seems cliché to tell you to embrace the hard spaces, but it’s true. Those ugly moments might just be preparing you for a life you’ve always dreamed of.
A little geeky. Quite a bit of passion. A ridiculous book obsession. This spunky wife and mama bear of 5 decided over 7 years ago that she wanted to start a business. Unfortunately, she had no idea what she was doing. Fortunately, she never gave up. Through trial and error and for being an OG on social media, she discovered the beauty and importance of branding your own story into a successful business. Her focus is helping others discover their brand, slay the social media beast, all without sacrificing what’s truly important.
Dominique Burleson can be found at http://www.dominiqueburleson.com
Contact Dominique at firstname.lastname@example.org