Learn what to expect if your baby has colic, and won’t stop crying.
I was pretty excited to become a mom, and also super scared.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a mom, so I had a vision in my head of what it would be.
I would fall deeply in love with my baby, he/she would love to cuddle, go right to sleep at night, go everywhere with me, and we wouldn’t want to be apart even for a minute.
Wow, it’s hard just writing that, it’s so comical.
Well, as you might have guessed, the complete opposite happened.
I did not bond with my little girl right away. She hated sleep, and I hated taking her anywhere.
A lot of this was due to my crazy hormones. Baby blues is so real.
Before having a baby I couldn’t see how anyone would feel sad after having a sweet baby to call yours.
Obviously, my world did a 180.
On top of the raging, uncontrollable hormones, my daughter was very colicky.
She cried ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY.
And to be honest, I hated her. I didn’t want to be around her.
It was easily one of the hardest times of my life.
This is not uncommon for mothers who struggle with a colicky baby.
If you’re lucky enough to join the colic club, here are all the real feels to expect.
You are not alone, and there are probably more moms out there than you know that can relate.
What to Expect if your Baby has Colic
Google defines colic as
“Predictable periods of significant distress in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby.”
aka NO ONE KNOWS.
No one really knows what colic is or what causes it.
Your baby will just cry for hours and hours even though you have tried everything. I would also venture to say that it’s not always predictable. It wasn’t in our little girl.
The basic and really the only symptom of colic is inconsolable crying.
There are some theories about colic, but they’re only theories.
Related: Ways to Relieve Colic in Your Baby
Your baby is crying.
Everyone is crying.
Some days I would cry from the time my husband left until he came home.
It was just a crying fest.
So, be prepared to cry and be upset. Know that this is normal. Anybody in a colic situation would do the same.
Bonding may be difficult
Because your baby cries all the time, it can be super hard to bond with them.
It feels like your baby just takes and takes from you without giving nice cuddles, sweet pictures, or precious moments in return.
I struggled to bond with my daughter during the first year.
I contribute a lot of this to my depression, but the colic didn’t help at all.
I always wanted to pass her to someone else, and she didn’t like to cuddle so I felt like I couldn’t love on her.
Postpartum depression and/or anxiety
Colic can be a catalyst to postpartum depression or anxiety.
Because my daughter cried all the time, I got super anxious to be alone with her. Something I still struggle with today, but getting help and getting better.
The combination of a colicky baby with raging hormones, or becoming a new mom, and adjusting to life while trying to breastfeed can be enough to make anyone feel anxious and depressed.
Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it. Be open and honest with others and with yourself about how you’re feeling and don’t be ashamed to get the help you need.
Breastfeeding can be Hard
My daughter could breastfeed really well, but I hated it.
I struggled to bond and be around her, so having her on me was difficult.
All she wanted to do was eat, and since that usually kept her quite, there were days that she ate most of the day.
This made me want to give her away.
I felt ashamed for 2 months because I hated breastfeeding and felt like I needed to stick it out for her.
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to. You have to do what’s best for you and the baby.
If you are losing your sanity because you have to breastfeed, then don’t.
Formula is so good now a days, and your baby isn’t going to be any less healthy because you chose not to breastfeed.
You can’t show off your baby
This might sound like more of a selfish one, but it was so hard for me to show off my baby.
The first thing you want to do when you have a baby is show everyone.
Well, she cried all the time, and that included when other people held her. If I gave her up, she was often quickly handed back to me. Most people want to cuddle with a quiet baby.
You want to Fix it
As of yet, there is no “cure” for the baby with colic.
There are things that might help relieve it, but nothing that completely takes it away.
We tried different formulas, bottles, pacifiers, gas drops, and so much more.
Every time I found a new idea, it gave me hope that it would work and the crying would end, but I was always left disappointed.
There were a few things that seemed to help short-term, you can read more about those in this article.
But nothing but time makes it go away.
You might hate your baby and Motherhood.
This was huge for me. Since I had just become a new mom and I had all these high expectations for what it was going to be like, it was a huge let down.
I felt like this was going to be the rest of my life, and I just wasn’t cut out for motherhood. I hated it.
I also hated my baby.
I struggled to feel love for her and I almost resented her for making me a mom.
If you feel this way, don’t be discouraged. It’s completely normal to have those feelings, but also know that “this too shall pass”.
It does get better. My daughter his a healthy, thriving 6 year old, and I have so much love for her it overflows my heart and brings me to tears.
I still have moments where I hate motherhood, all moms do. (except the crazies. :).
Life and motherhood is about taking in the joyful moments as they come and relish them.
You blame yourself
When your baby is colicky, you feel like a bad mother.
Especially if this is your first baby. You might think you are doing something wrong. You’re not loving them enough, feeding them right, or holding them right.
You just aren’t cut out for motherhood and you don’t have any motherly instincts because you don’t know what your baby needs.
Not true, not true, and definitely not true.
Don’t blame yourself and don’t let yourself feed your mind those lies!
It’s not your fault, you are a great mom, you were just handed the impossible.
It eventually goes away
Luckily, most colic resolves within 3-4 months. My daughter went to 6 months, then the crying slowly subsided. She didn’t wake up one day and not cry.
I think it helped when she was able to start crawling and moving around. She could entertain herself more.
Every baby is different. Just hold on, do the best you can, and take the good days as they come.
Make sure you have a support system, ask for help, get out of the house when you can, and remember you’re doing better than you think you are!
Related: How to Relieve Colic in a Baby
Related: How to Relieve Gas in a Baby